I have a Cold Case: it clouds my judgment, disconnects me from reality, and amplifies my reactions.
But I’ve decided—I no longer want to live like this.
It’s too painful, and I must take action. Don’t get me wrong: the thought of moving forward is scary. But the pain outweighs the fear.
So, this is it. I am going to resolve and let go of one of my Cold Cases.
To set myself free, I will follow these six steps:

1. Find a quiet, safe, and comfortable space.
I need a place where I feel good, secure, and undisturbed. This is something deeply personal, between me and myself.
It’s important to have time to rest and decompress afterward, too.

2. Enlist my Ego as my ally.
I’ll partner with my Ego—it’s here to care for me, so I’ll leverage its good intentions.
I’ll ask it to protect me as I navigate this Cold Case and to fuel me with the courage to see it through.
I know my Ego isn’t thrilled about this—and, honestly, neither am I—but we both know it’s the right thing to do.
This decision is made, and I need my Ego’s relentless willpower at my side. We’ll do this together.

3. Remind myself why this matters.
I wasn’t ready to face this Cold Case before, but I am now.
I’ve changed. I’ve lived more. And I’m ready because this emotional burden continues to pollute my life.
The weight of living with it has become heavier than the effort to address it.
I need to feel the pain, not just think about it—but I know I won’t drown in it because my Ego is here to help.
This pain is the reason I’m doing this. To stop it. Because it’s unbearable.

4. Start digging into the Cold Case.
I’ll peel back the layers of the situation that triggered me.
What happened? Why did I react so strongly? Why does it matter?
I’ll ask myself these questions—"how," "what," "why"—and keep going until there are no answers left.
I’ll write down each question and answer, knowing that only the final answer truly matters.
That last answer reveals why I’ve behaved this way for so long. It shows me the meaning I attached to this Cold Case and what I’ve been seeking through this behavior.
The answers might lead me far from the original situation, and that’s okay.
There’s no right or wrong here—only the flow of thoughts. I’ll accept what comes and keep digging.

5. Allow the emotions to flow.
When I’m in the process—or when I reach the core of my Cold Case—I might cry.
These tears aren’t sadness; they’re relief.
They mean I’ve reached the root of the issue and am ready to let it go by reframing how I think about it.
There’s no need to fear the tears; it’s natural to grieve when saying goodbye to an old friend I won’t see again.

6. Replace the Cold Case with a new behavior.
Nature abhors a vacuum. As I let go of my Cold Case, I need to replace it with something new.
Now that I understand why I behaved this way, I can choose how I want to meet that need moving forward.
I may not find the answer immediately, and that’s okay. I’ll brainstorm options and trust that the right one—or several—will resonate with me.
To begin, I’ll pick one new behavior to focus on and anchor it in my life. Over time, I can expand my options and create a range of responses to draw from.

Practice, practice, practice!
What was once a painful trigger will now become an opportunity to practice my new behavior.
Through repetition, I’ll reprogram my mind and heart. This process will unfold gradually but surely.
The journey has begun, and I know I’m on my way. Doubts may come and go, but my decision is firm.
The pieces are in place, and with time, action, and my Ego by my side, I will get there.