Thee Puzzle piece MY FILTER
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Practice book
INTRODUCTION TO THEE PUZZLE PRACTICE BOOK
You’re reading these lines because you’ve decided to bring a Puzzle tip into your life—congratulations on taking this meaningful step!
The Practice Book serves as your guided companion to implement Thee Puzzle tips, supporting you step by step on your transformation journey toward living well. For each Puzzle tip, you’ll find practical guidance on how to apply it and tools to track your progress. Be ready to take notes as you move through the steps!
When introducing a new Puzzle tip, we recommend focusing on just one tip at a time for a minimum of seven consecutive days. Science suggests that building a habit takes about three weeks:
The first week helps you get familiar with the change.
The second week can be challenging as doubts and resistance often arise. This is when persistence is key—stick with it!
By the third week, the habit will feel natural, and you may even find yourself craving the practice. From this point on, the tip becomes part of you.
Once you’ve completed the program with one tip, move on to the next. There’s no pre-set order—focus on what feels right for you, when you need it most.
Enjoy the process of anchoring new habits into your life!
Live well.
SETTING THE SCENE TO LIVE WELL
How do you feel starting this practice book? On a scale 0 to 10.
How do you want to feel after applying Thee Puzzle in your life? On a scale 0 to 10.
Do I commit to myself to keep going until I reach my goal?
And when do I want to start?
You have chosen to focus on the tips of Thee Puzzle piece:
MY FILTER
Capture why I have chosen to transform the role "my Filter" plays
On a scale from 1 to 10, capture my perception how dysfunctional the Puzzle piece "my Filter" is today
On a scale from 1 to 10, write down what success will look like after I have successfully practiced the tip for 7 days in-a-row
Science shows that it takes in total 3 weeks to settle a habit. The first 7 days to get used to it and ensure it suits you. The 2nd week will be challenging as this is when we fight and question a change. By the end of the 3rd week, you will crave to practice and the tip will be with you forever!
Today
Goal
Result
SETTING UP EXPECTATIONS
CALLING OUT MY COLD CASE
What this tip is about:
How to practice this tip?
Day 1: Understand the Concept of a Cold Case
Acknowledge that everyone has multiple Cold Cases—they’re part of being human! They surface when your Ego brings them to light; otherwise, they remain tucked away in storage.
Remind yourself: You don’t need to tackle all your Cold Cases at once. This is a journey. Be kind to yourself, and take it step by step.
Reflect on this key idea: “I’ve lived with this pattern until now; I can handle it a little longer as I work through it.”
Write down one situation or recurring emotional reaction that you’d like to address this week.
Day 2: Identify the Cold Case
Observe the situation or emotional response you’ve chosen and ask yourself:What specifically triggers this reaction?
What automatic behavior does it elicit?
Why do I want to change it? What feels uncomfortable about it now?
If you’re not ready to dive deeply, that’s OK. Simply acknowledge it exists and note why it feels significant to you.
Day 3: Explore and Define the Cold Case
Start working on a label for your Cold Case using these guidelines:
Begin with “I” to take accountability and ownership. Example: “When I feel ignored, I withdraw.”
Make it grammatically positive. Example: Instead of “I don’t want to feel powerless,” say, “I want to feel capable and confident.”
Be precise. Describe both the external trigger and your internal reaction. Example: “When someone interrupts me, I feel invisible and unworthy.”
Use tools like a thesaurus or ChatGPT if you need help finding the right words.
Rate your label’s accuracy on a scale from 0 to 100. If it’s below 95, refine it until it resonates deeply with you.
Day 4: Observe Patterns Without Judging
Throughout the day, notice when your Cold Case is triggered. Write down what happens:What triggered the response?
How did you react emotionally and behaviorally?
Avoid self-criticism. Instead, approach this as an opportunity to learn and grow.
Repeat your Cold Case label to yourself as a reminder of the pattern you’re working to change.
Day 5: Express Gratitude to Your Old Behavior
Reflect on how this Cold Case behavior once served you. Ask yourself:How did it protect me or help me cope in the past?
What did it teach me about myself or my environment?
Write a note of gratitude:Example: “Thank you for helping me feel safe when I needed it. You’ve been with me for years, but now it’s time to let you go.”
Day 6: Design a New Response
Think of how you’d like to respond to similar situations moving forward:What mindset do you want to adopt?
What specific action or thought can replace the old behavior?
Write a plan:Example: “When I feel unheard, I will pause, take a deep breath, and calmly express that I want to finish my thought.”
Practice visualizing this new response in a calm, focused state.
Day 7: Practice, Iterate, and Celebrate
When the situation arises, consciously implement your new response. If it doesn’t arise naturally, imagine or role-play it.
Reflect at the end of the day:How did it feel to respond differently?
What progress have I made?
Are there further adjustments I’d like to make?
Celebrate your efforts and remind yourself that this is a process. The fact that you’ve taken steps to address your Cold Case is a significant achievement.
Table of content
Calling out my Cold Case
Tempering my Cold Case
Solving my Cold Case
Reflecting back on this experience:
What worked well?
What will you change with the next Puzzle piece?
Be kind to yourself!
Habits come and go: what matters is to be directionally correct.
It is OK to come back to a Puzzle piece you have already tackled, or to take more time to anchor a habit.
Do as it suits you best.
SOLVING A COLD CASE
What this tip is about:
How to practice this tip?
I have a Cold Case: it clouds my judgment, disconnects me from reality, and amplifies my reactions.
But I’ve decided—I no longer want to live like this.
It’s too painful, and I must take action. Don’t get me wrong: the thought of moving forward is scary. But the pain outweighs the fear.
So, this is it. I am going to resolve and let go of one of my Cold Cases.
To set myself free, I will follow these six steps:
1. Find a quiet, safe, and comfortable space.
I need a place where I feel good, secure, and undisturbed. This is something deeply personal, between me and myself.
It’s important to have time to rest and decompress afterward, too.
2. Enlist my Ego as my ally.
I’ll partner with my Ego—it’s here to care for me, so I’ll leverage its good intentions.
I’ll ask it to protect me as I navigate this Cold Case and to fuel me with the courage to see it through.
I know my Ego isn’t thrilled about this—and, honestly, neither am I—but we both know it’s the right thing to do.
This decision is made, and I need my Ego’s relentless willpower at my side. We’ll do this together.
3. Remind myself why this matters.
I wasn’t ready to face this Cold Case before, but I am now.
I’ve changed. I’ve lived more. And I’m ready because this emotional burden continues to pollute my life.
The weight of living with it has become heavier than the effort to address it.
I need to feel the pain, not just think about it—but I know I won’t drown in it because my Ego is here to help.
This pain is the reason I’m doing this. To stop it. Because it’s unbearable.
4. Start digging into the Cold Case.
I’ll peel back the layers of the situation that triggered me.
What happened? Why did I react so strongly? Why does it matter?
I’ll ask myself these questions—"how," "what," "why"—and keep going until there are no answers left.
I’ll write down each question and answer, knowing that only the final answer truly matters.
That last answer reveals why I’ve behaved this way for so long. It shows me the meaning I attached to this Cold Case and what I’ve been seeking through this behavior.
The answers might lead me far from the original situation, and that’s okay.
There’s no right or wrong here—only the flow of thoughts. I’ll accept what comes and keep digging.
5. Allow the emotions to flow.
When I’m in the process—or when I reach the core of my Cold Case—I might cry.
These tears aren’t sadness; they’re relief.
They mean I’ve reached the root of the issue and am ready to let it go by reframing how I think about it.
There’s no need to fear the tears; it’s natural to grieve when saying goodbye to an old friend I won’t see again.
6. Replace the Cold Case with a new behavior.
Nature abhors a vacuum. As I let go of my Cold Case, I need to replace it with something new.
Now that I understand why I behaved this way, I can choose how I want to meet that need moving forward.
I may not find the answer immediately, and that’s okay. I’ll brainstorm options and trust that the right one—or several—will resonate with me.
To begin, I’ll pick one new behavior to focus on and anchor it in my life. Over time, I can expand my options and create a range of responses to draw from.
Practice, practice, practice!
What was once a painful trigger will now become an opportunity to practice my new behavior.
Through repetition, I’ll reprogram my mind and heart. This process will unfold gradually but surely.
The journey has begun, and I know I’m on my way. Doubts may come and go, but my decision is firm.
The pieces are in place, and with time, action, and my Ego by my side, I will get there.
This step by step guided implementation will help you confront, resolve, and replace a Cold Case with new habits. By progressing through each day, you will dig deep into the root cause, rewrite its narrative, and practice new behaviors to anchor lasting change.
Day 1: Prepare myself and my Ego
Decide whether to undertake this process alone or with the support of someone I trust. Depending on your personnality, it may be easier to go through the questionning process bouncing ideas with a close friend, or to do it on your own. Go with what feels right.
Talk to your Ego and onboard it as your ally:Thank it for always protecting you and making this issue visible.
Explain that the real danger is the unresolved Cold Case, not what lies ahead.
Reassure it: “We’re in this together. I need your courage and willpower to face this and remove the emotional bomb in my mind.”
Reflect on your readiness by answering these questions:Have I decided to get rid of my Cold Case? Yes / No
Is it possible to keep living with my Cold Case? Yes / No
Is now the time to address my Cold Case? Yes / No
If you have three “Yes” answers, I am ready to begin. If not, set it aside for now and revisit when I feel prepared.
Action for today: Commit to the process by writing down why you want to resolve this Cold Case.
Day 2: Start digging
Find a specific situation that triggered strong emotions and use it as my starting point.
Ask myself the following:
- What happened?
- Why did I react the way I did?
- How does this make me feel?
- Is this thought or belief true? Is it always true?
Let my thoughts flow without judgment. Follow connections between ideas, even if they seem illogical.
Keep questioning until there are no more answers to give, and I feel deeply moved. This emotional response signals that I've reached the root of my Cold Case.
Action for today: Write down everything you uncover, especially about the root cause of your Cold Case.
Day 3: Rewrite the narrative
Reflect on the root cause of my Cold Case and how it originated. Make the time to recognize that it likely came from a misunderstanding or misinterpretation of an event.
Remind myself:“Today, I am different. I’ve grown, learned, and gained new perspectives. It was once very useful, and now I am ready to rewrite this story.”
Course correct by reframing the situation and ask myself: What would have been a more accurate or compassionate way to understand this event?
Write down this new understanding to overwrite the old narrative.
Action for today: Create my new story in clear, empowering language. For example: “I have put a meaning behind the situation ... which was my interpretation at the time. I am now strong enough to revisit this story, and that is ....”
Day 4: Let go and choose a new behavior
With the Cold Case resolved, decide how I will meet the emotional need it once fulfilled.
Ask myself:
- What new behavior or belief will replace this old habit?
- How will this new approach serve me better in the present and future?
Write down several options for my new behavior. Trust my instincts to choose the one that resonates most. Remember that I don’t need to find the perfect replacement immediately. Allow myself to experiment and adapt.
Action for today: Select the one new behavior to focus on as a starting point. And acknowledge that Rome was not built in a day: I probably have identified a range of reactions I could tap into. Yet at this stage, I want to focus on replacing an old habit - and that implies I choose one. Later on, once my choice is anchored and my new behavior is established, then I can add more.
Days 5–7: Practice, validate, and anchor
For the next three days, dedicate time to practicing my new behavior:
1. Reflect Daily: Identify opportunities to apply my new behavior in real-life situations.
Journal about my experiences:
- What went well?
- What felt challenging?
- How did it feel to use this new approach?
2. Reaffirm my decision: Remind myself of the progress I've made and the freedom I'm gaining.
Revisit my rewritten story to strengthen my belief in it.
3. Celebrate small (and big!) wins: Acknowledge each moment I act differently, no matter how small.
Validate that I'm actively reprogramming my mind and heart, as being aware helps anchor it.
Action for these days: Practice the new behavior in different contexts and capture my reflections daily.
Beyond Day 7: Reinforce and anchor the new habit
Science shows that it takes about three weeks of consistent practice to fully anchor a new habit. Continue to actively seek situations where I can apply my new behavior.
Regularly revisit my rewritten narrative and remind myself why this new approach serves me better.
If doubts arise, trust the process. I've made the decision, and time, action, and my Ego are all on my side.
More challenges?
Come back to Thee Puzzle as you see fit
Seeking for inspiration?
Go through Thoughts and People’s stories to find out how others have leverage Thee Puzzle to solve their challenge
WHAT NEXT?!
TEMPERING A COLD CASE
What this tip is about:
How to practice this tip?
This tip is for when I’ve identified a Cold Case but am not ready to work on it yet—or when I am ready, but it’s still present and causing pain. In these moments, I want to reduce its intensity because the pain is too vivid.
To lessen the impact of my Cold Case, I will focus on the exact opposite idea and connect it to real-life examples. I aim to not just think about this opposite idea but to feel it deeply. Just as my Cold Case exists in both my head and heart, its opposite should, too.
For example, if my Cold Case is "I will never find another job," the opposite could be: "I will have plenty of job offers to choose from!" Then, I close my eyes and immerse myself in this thought. I feel how wonderful it is to be contacted for a job. I feel the excitement when the phone rings with a second offer, equally appealing. I imagine myself accepting one of the offers, feeling incredible about that moment. I let myself experience these emotions fully and intensely.
Next, I find three people who embody this opposite idea. They could be people I know, public figures, or stories I’ve come across in the news or online. In the example above, I’d look for individuals in similar situations who received multiple job offers. Seeing these examples makes the idea more tangible—it becomes real, not just a mental construct.
At this stage, my mind may resist.
If I don’t find examples online immediately, I might convince myself that this concept is unrealistic and doesn’t apply to me. This is my Ego trying to protect me by clinging to what feels familiar—even if that means holding onto my Cold Case. But I must persist. I’ll keep searching until I find proof, knowing there’s always evidence to support one idea or its opposite. I trust that I can and will find it.
The combination of feeling the opposite idea emotionally and seeing real-life examples will anchor the belief that alternatives exist. This process creates distance from my Cold Case, shrinking its power as I realize it’s not the absolute truth.
There are options. Other paths are available to me.
Step 1: Assess and Label Your Cold Case
Before tempering the effects of your Cold Case, ensure you have clearly identified and labeled it. Use the tip “Calling Out a Cold Case” for guidance. Once labeled, assess how strongly you believe this Cold Case.
Write down: On a scale from 0 to 10, how much do I believe my Cold Case is true?
Step 2: Define the Opposite Idea
Find the exact opposite of your Cold Case’s label. This should not be a rephrasing of your Cold Case but a true contradiction of it.
Example: If your Cold Case is “Rich people are bad people,” the opposite idea could be “Rich people are kind people.”
Write down: What is the opposite idea of my Cold Case?
For instance:
Cold Case: “Rich people are bad people.”
Opposite Idea: “Rich people are kind people.”
Visualization: Imagine generous, wealthy people supporting communities, donating, or helping others in impactful ways. Feel the joy of seeing wealth used for good.
Real-Life Examples: Oprah Winfrey (philanthropy), Bill Gates (Foundation work), Kathy Byron (a once-homeless author who helps others).
Step 3: Immerse Yourself in the Opposite Idea
Close your eyes and imagine the opposite idea as vividly as possible.
Visualize: What does it feel like if this opposite idea is true?
Feel the emotions: How would it feel to fully experience this new reality?
Immerse yourself deeply in this mental exercise to let the opposite idea resonate not just in your mind but in your heart.
Step 4: Find Real-Life Examples
Identify three people who embody the opposite idea. These can be people you know personally, public figures, or stories you’ve read or heard about.
Seeing real-life examples makes the opposite idea tangible, offering proof that challenges your Cold Case.
Write down:
#1 Person’s Name:
#2 Person’s Name:
#3 Person’s Name:
If you struggle to find examples, recognize this as resistance from your Ego, which wants to keep you in a familiar mindset. Stay persistent and keep searching. There is always evidence to support the opposite idea.
Step 5: Reassess Your Belief in the Cold Case
After completing Steps 3 and 4, revisit your belief in the Cold Case.
Write down: On a scale from 0 to 10, how much do I now believe my Cold Case is true?
Step 6: Practice and Anchor the Habit
To solidify the shift, repeat this process and focus on practicing it daily for three weeks. This time frame helps anchor new mental habits, as supported by scientific research on habit formation.
Step 7: Be Patient and Kind to Yourself
Remember that Cold Cases are deeply ingrained beliefs. I don’t need to tackle all of them at once. Acknowledge the progress I've made, even if it feels small. Trust that with persistence, I will create lasting change.
CONGRATULATIONS!
MYSELF
EGO
PRESENT
CONNECT
FILTER
COMPASS
PROTECTION
POLLUTION
RULES
MASTER
YOU ARE MASTERING THE TIPS RELATING TO THEE PUZZLE PIECE "MY FILTER"!
WELL DONE!!