filter

Life is a Puzzle. Master the Pieces. Live well.

My Filter

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MY FILTER

FAQ - My Filter

What sources of information feed my Filter?

How to enhance my Filter?

When is the Filter in my head dysfunctional?

My brain (my Ego), my emotions, and my body (physical sensations) all feed my Filter.

My Filter works best when I am connected to all three sources of information.
Its role is to provide me with options, as these sources may offer different perspectives. Then, I can decide how to respond in the way that best suits me.

If I am not paying attention, my Ego will take over as the primary source of decision-making—and that might not always be wise. To make the best decisions, it is thus important that I consciously include my body and my emotions in the process.

To know whether I can trust the Filter in my head, there is no other way but to practice!
Just like artificial intelligence, the more I use my Filter, the more mistakes I identify, the more I can correct, and the more reliable it becomes, and the better my Filter suits me.

For every situation where I choose to protect myself, I can assess afterward whether it was the right choice for me. When I pollute myself, I should reflect after the fact and question what I missed.
What caused my Filter to default? This allows me to course-correct and improve.

It is also important to remember that in the moment, I only have so much information. It is easy to replay and change my decision after the fact, when I have more data available. However, in the moment, I make the best decision I can with the information I have. So let us not be too harsh on my Filter.

When my Filter leads me to flawed logic, I am lacking clarity and blindly following my Ego. The truth is, my Ego has a secret weapon to ensure I listen to it.

Imagine a warehouse full of boxes, each containing a situation I have lived through and hated—so I packed it away and pushed it as far back as I could.
But my Ego, always vigilant, has labeled every box and keeps a detailed database of all these stored memories. It has even plugged in the most sophisticated search engine—just in case these boxes might be useful one day.
And indeed, my Ego uses this filing system to enhance my protection—in its own way.
Whenever my Ego identifies a potential danger, it searches its database for any match. When it finds one, it not only warns me but also retrieves the box and opens it!
My Ego is eager to demonstrate that it is right to warn me about a potential risk or issue, showing me proof that this situation has been a problem before.
With all its naivety and love, my Ego suddenly presents me with the ugliest parts of my life to prove its point—my Cold Cases.
And it works! It triggers me, and I lose control.

That is when I just follow my Ego, without thinking and leaving no room for my Filter to consider any other path.

What is a ‘Cold Case’?

A ‘Cold Case’ occurs when I bring up memories and feelings from the past and plug them into what I am experiencing now. It stems from an old situation that caused me great fear, sadness, or anger.
At the time, it was too overwhelming to address and process, so I buried it deep in storage, hoping I would forget about it and that it would never resurface.
A ‘Cold Case’ is therefore a combination of both thoughts and emotions.

Cold Cases are so intense that no one can resist their pull.
They were real at one point in my life, but they are not real now. Still, they feel very real and connected to my current experiences, blurring my understanding of what is actually happening.

Under the influence of a Cold Case, I lose touch with reality. Without realizing it, I project hurtful memories into the present. Although reality may resonate with my Cold Case, it is not my Cold Case.
This is why, at times, I might feel disproportionately angry, sad, or afraid. I am disconnected from what is truly happening, reliving a difficult moment from my past without being fully aware of it. I act defensively, even when there is no need, simply to keep that episode from my past at bay.

I can choose to send my Cold Case back into storage and forget about it again. However, my Ego will continue to bring it back whenever it identifies a new situation that seems to connect with it.

My Ego wants to protect me. By repeatedly bringing this unresolved issue into my life, it does not aim to hurt me—it aims to ensure that I never experience the same pain again.
In a way, it is doing me a favor. It makes my life so unbearable by resurfacing my Cold Cases that I have no choice but to resolve them.

Because let us face it: without pressure, I might take it easy and lack the motivation to process the painful moments of my life.
My Ego makes it impossible to ignore.

When I finally address these past events that pollute my present, they will disappear as if they never existed. They will no longer come back to disrupt my life. My life then becomes easier, and my Ego is satisfied, knowing it has successfully protected me as future similar dangers will no longer hold the same weight.

Rest assured that my Ego—essentially, myself—only brings up Cold Cases when I am ready to face them. It may not feel like it in the moment, but I now have the resources and courage I lacked when the event first occurred. I am strong enough to confront and resolve it.