My attention is drawn to what I believe in. What I see reinforces my thoughts, making me believe I am right. This leads to noticing even more of the same, creating a reinforcing loop.

Until now, this pattern occurred without me being aware of it.
Now I understand that if I don’t pay attention, my brain operates as follows:

It lets my Ego take over, which naturally tends to worry.
My Ego picks one worry to dominate my thoughts.
My brain then looks for proof that the worry is valid, seeking visual confirmation.
It disregards anything that doesn’t amplify the worry.
It keeps searching until it finds proof.
This “proof” can be anything. For example, if I believe the world is in an economic crisis, I’ll start noticing beggars more often. I’ll see shops closing down. I might think a store is running sales because they aren’t making enough money and need to attract customers. Anything my Ego can link to my primary concern will be categorized as evidence.

To counter this, I need to do two things: first, be aware of the phenomenon, and second, consciously choose what to focus on.

Being aware means staying close to my Ego (cf. tips for the My Ego Puzzle piece).

I will not walk through life as a zombie, oblivious to where my thoughts are going.
I will remain alert and decide what I want to focus on.
I refuse to spend my time worrying about things that might happen. Instead, I’ll direct my energy toward meaningful pursuits, like learning something new, planning time with people I love, appreciating something beautiful, or savoring a special moment.

Being aware means taking control of my mind and my Ego. I decide what to focus on instead of being dragged into dark thoughts.

Now, once I’m aware of the pattern, I can consciously choose topics that uplift me.

I’ll pick topics that energize me rather than drag me down.
I’ll look for proof that supports these positive thoughts, using the same process my Ego uses, but in reverse.
For example, if I want to focus on extending my family, I’ll:

Notice kids in the street.
See kids in supermarkets as I shop.
Hear colleagues talking about their children.
Observe people working from home because their child is sick.
Before long, I’ll find myself surrounded by signs of children and family life. This will reinforce the belief that having a family is possible for me. As I notice pregnant women in the street or newborns with their parents, it will further convince me that this is achievable.

What I see reinforces my beliefs, and those beliefs shape how I speak, feel, and act.
That said, it’s essential to remember: just because I believe in something doesn’t make it true. For instance, some people still believe the Earth is flat, but that doesn’t flatten it!

What this practice does accomplish is convincing me that something is possible. It shows me that what I want is happening around me and could happen for me too.

When I focus on something I crave, it feels good. This isn’t about judging the gap between my dream and my current life or dwelling on how it feels when reality sets in. It’s about pairing positive thoughts with positive emotions and allowing those emotions to support me.

This process is about what I think and where I direct my attention.
I’d rather focus on what I crave and believe is possible than on worrying about what could go wrong... and may never happen!
There’s not much room for a grey zone: it’s one or the other.
Either I let my Ego prove myself wrong about something meaningful to me, or I choose to believe it’s possible and look for evidence to reinforce that belief.

I need to consciously pick my camp, or my Ego will pick for me.

This tip empowers me to take charge of my thoughts and direct them toward what I want to create in my life. By staying aware and choosing to focus on possibilities rather than worries, I can build beliefs that support how I want to live.