The Puzzle piece THE UNIVERSAL RULE THAT GOVERNS MY LIFE
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Explore the Puzzle framework
Witness how others have used the Puzzle and inspire yourself
Pick one Puzzle piece
Apply the tip(s)
Follow up on results
Acknowledge positive impact
The puzzle tips
INTRODUCTION TO THE PUZZLE PRACTICE BOOK
The practice book is available to keep track of my thoughts, and support me step by step through my transformation to live well.
I will find here all the Puzzle tips, together with some help on how to apply these tips, and measure progress.
I can either print it and write on it, or use a side booklet of my own to take notes.
3 key advises to live well are:
Start small, and build up from there.
Experiment in place and/or with people I am comfortable with, then expand.
The more I practise, the more comfortable I am, and the easier it gets!
Have fun anchoring these new habits!
SETTING THE SCENE TO LIVE WELL
How do you feel starting this practice book? On a scale 0 to 100.
How do you want to feel after applying the Puzzle in your life? On a scale 0 to 100.
Close my eyes and imagine being there.
Capture here with my own key words what it feels like - with some thoughts, feelings and sensations how it will be:
When do I want to be there?
And when do I want to start?!
I have chosen to focus on the tips of the Puzzle piece:
THE UNIVERSAL RULE THAT GOVERNS MY LIFE
Capture why I have chosen to transform the role "my Filter" plays
On a scale from 1 to 10, capture my perception how dysfunctional the Puzzle piece "my Filter" is today
On a scale from 1 to 10, write down what success will look like after I have successfully practiced the tip for 7 days in-a-row
Last, capture what I have achieved after these 7 days
SETTING UP EXPECTATIONS
BE CONSCIOUSLY THANKFUL
What this tip is about:
How to practice this tip?
Rome was not built in a day: similarly, I do not need to put pressure on myself to master all the Puzzle pieces overnight (not to mention this is my Ego polluting me here!!). What matters is that I am heading in the right direction - and that is something I should celebrate!
Every day, I should scan through what has been good about my day. What I have learnt, what I liked, what worked out, etc. By making the effort to list them, I anchor the fact that despite the stress and difficulties I deal with, there are also good things happening in my life. And it doesn't matter how little: everything is worth making it to my list!
In addition, I can thank people, myself, life - for all these good moments. The idea is still to reprogram my brain and my feelings. As I like these feelings, I will naturally look for more. And notice each of these good moments. Both leading me to live more of them. While in reality, good times were always here: what has changed is me. Now I too see all that is nice around me.
Notice and be grateful for the good moments in my life. Like laughing at a joke on TV, something that surprises me positively, finding clothes in the closet I forgot I had, enjoying sports…. All these random small and big moments that also fill in my days.
Each time something nice happens in my life, be thankful. And acknowledge so by saying ‘thank you’ - to the person in front of me, to myself, to the moment I am living.
Making the conscious effort to say ‘thank you’ is to acknowledge the fact that something nice is happening, and that it is something worth noticing. Just like when someone renders a service, saying ‘thank you” implies I notice and value the gesture. It is not just another random moment, it is a good moment.
When I am thankful, time slows down for a few seconds. The seconds I take to be grateful are a little pause in my day, where I stop and acknowledge something good is happening in my life. It can be very refreshing in the middle of busy days!
As I make the conscious effort to be grateful, I will also notice these good moments more. And while my life did not change, my perspective on it does. It feels like there are more and more good times. It is very likely that they were already around me: I just did not pay attention before.
To witness this positive trend, count the number of events I am grateful for, each day:
Day 1: …………………………………
Day 2: …………………………………
Day 3: …………………………………
Day 4: …………………………………
Day 5: …………………………………
Day 6: …………………………………
Day 7: …………………………………
Table of content
Be consciously thankful
Do not try - decide
Reflecting back on this experience:
What worked well?
What will you change with the next Puzzle piece?
Be kind to yourself!
Habits come and go: what matters is to be directionally correct.
It is OK to come back to a Puzzle piece you have already tackled, or to take more time to anchor a habit.
Do as it suits you best.
Come back to the Puzzle as you see fit
Seeking for inspiration?
Go through Thoughts and People’s stories to find out how others have leverage the Puzzle to solve their challenge
DO NOT TRY - DECIDE
What this tip is about:
How to practice this tip?
“Trying” is a verb that does not exist in reality. It is useful to communicate, but my brain cannot conceive of it. If I tell someone to “try to take this cup”, it implies something is wrong.
Trying implies that maybe I can’t, maybe it is difficult, maybe I will fail - in all cases, not a positive impression. This is how my brain understands trying. Rather, I should either take the cup, or not take the cup.
In life, I also have options and choices to make. I can decide to use the Puzzle and transform how I live my life. Or I can try to change, keep all options open - and remain as I am.
Words carry intentions, and intentions are powerful. It is now up to me to decide to live a better life. With the Puzzle, I have all the tools to make it happen.
…Try grabbing this cup!
How does that sound?! Likely or rather unlikely I will grab the cup?!
Does it feel like it will be difficult, or that there is something wrong with the cup?
And if I hear instead “grab this cup”!
Does it feel more likely I can?
My brain does not handle “trying”.
While language can be quite subtle, my brain can be black and white: I either grab the cup, or I don’t. “Try grabbing” rather falls under not making it, because it implies I have a doubt I can. Or that it conveys the impression it will be difficult, and introduces the idea I may not succeed (hence the “trying”: I could fail too).
When it comes to transforming myself, the exact same principles apply. I can “try” to transform myself - and most likely it will only work for some time.
Or I can “decide”, “choose”, “commit”, “desire”, “want”.... to transform myself. And tell my brain from the start that I have made the decision.
On a scale from 0 to 1000, how much am I committed to transforming myself? The opposite decision being to remain as I am.
Am I 200% sure this is what I want? Yes No
If I answered less than 950 to the 1st question or ‘No’ to the 2nd, what is getting in the way?
And how could I remove the obstacle(s)?
One common pitfall is that it feels so ambitious to transform myself, that I can’t commit to it (because the risk of failure seems too high).
If I am in such a mindset, I can remove the time constraint: I will progress step by step, at my rhythm. My commitment is to be directionally correct and not to return to where I am today. I will arrive when I arrive, and in the meantime I will witness steady progress all along my transformation journey.
Another difficulty to transform myself can be that I do not sustain the effort over time. I lose motivation and focus. Yet, if I do, it can too be because I am doing OK as I am - and therefore I don’t really need to change! And that is OK too.
Most transformations occur when challenges arise: if I am well enough these days, I might as well enjoy this time of my life as I don’t really have a burning platform to change. Leave the Puzzle for now, and I will come back to it when I need it.
YOU ARE MASTERING THE TIPS RELATING TO THE PUZZLE PIECE "THE UNIVERSAL RULE THAT GOVERNS MY LIFE"!