Live well with fertility treatments
Thoughts
Live well with fertility treatments
THANK YOU
Welcome to the puzzle
Your pragmatic toolbox to thrive self-inflicted stress and uncertainty in weeks. Transform how you live!
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Thank you for joining this transformation journey.
Thank you for your courage to take the decision to change.
LIVE WELL
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1st Step
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Intro
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FAQ
2nd Step
Choose
Witness how others have used the Puzzle and inspire yourself
People's story
Thoughts
3rd Step
Apply
1. Pick one Puzzle piece
2. Apply the tip
3. Follow up on progress & results
4. Acknowledge positive impact
5. Repeat
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Practice book
THOUGHTS ON
LIVING WELL A FERTILITY TREATMENT
Introducing the Puzzle Thoughts
We each handle mental pressure and emotions differently: these thoughts are examples, and not an absolute truth. They are not to tell you what or how you should think.
These examples are to inspire you. Look at how other people think, and spark your mind to release self-inflicted stress and handle uncertainty
The Puzzle is built like Russian Dolls - from the Tiny Puzzle to the Full Puzzle. The idea is to introduce more and more thoughts, and more and more Puzzle pieces as you progress.
You can either read the thoughts selecting one Puzzle piece and going through the different versions of it. Or you can choose to look at a Puzzle version in full. There is not rule but to approach it as it suits you best.
Each Puzzle is declined in 2 versions: thoughts before the Puzzle, and after.
The Puzzle is written in the 1st person to entail maximum impact.
Myself is multiple
I want to have a baby. I don't want to have a baby. I will be a great Mum. I am not sure I am equipped to be a Mum. I am no longer sure who I am or what I want!
My Ego
Why am I even doing these treatments in the 1st place?!! I am going to be disappointed and hurt if it doesn't work: I should save myself the pain.
My Compass
I am very lost where my life is heading to, as it will be so different if I have a kid or not!
The Universal Rule that governs my life
I keep seeing pregnant women or women with babies - and they look so happy. It hurts to think about what I could miss.
The TINY Puzzle
BEFORE the Puzzle
Myself is multiple
While I really want it, it is not granted I will be a Mum. Until I know for sure, I have decided I will do what I is accessible: be myself, and take good care of me!
My Ego
I know the outcome is not granted. Still, my Ego is fueling me to be resilient with these treatments. I don't always feel strong, but it gives me plenty of courage to keep up and keep going.
My Compass
I have decided to enjoy my life as it is. If I have a baby, it will change a lot so I might as well take advantage of the freedom I have now!
The Universal Rule that governs my life
I see both couples with and without children: both look very happy and in love.
AFTER the Puzzle
The Universal Rule that governs my life
I try remain positive but I cannot help losing myself in my thoughts, anticipating a life where I am not a Mum - and that future seems very dark. I hurt myself thinking this way, but can't help it. I think life has no purpose without kids.
My Ego
I beat myself up and feel very guilty not to be able to solely think about being pregnant. I am thorned as I both want to protect myself in case treatments don't work; and do not want to hold back on this very big dream of mine.
My Compass
I’II do everything I can so that I can become a Mum. I just hope that I do not compromise my future by doubting, as I feel very guilty about it!
Mastering my life
I keep on seeing babies and young kids in the street. While I look at them, smile and wave - they do not seem to see me. I feel transparent and irrelevant.
Myself is Multiple
While the emotions are overwhelming at times, I try to contain myself and pretend I am well - because I fear if I start opening up, I won't be able to put myself back together.
The SMALL Puzzle
BEFORE the Puzzle
The Universal Rule that governs my life
When I surprise myself thinking of a very dark future, I observe people without kids. They seem to have a good life - friends having a good time together, couples going out. It comforts me to see that a happy life is also possible without kids.
My Ego
I leverage my Ego to find the courage to go through these treatments. And I also made a pact that it will give me its strength in case it doesn't work - so either way, I will be safe. And for now, it is all about feeding me with resilience and courage.
My Compass
Doubting is human, yet I don’t want my doubts and my fears to rule my life. I am imagining a good life with and without kids, and feed myself with the positive emotions coming from both scenarios.
Mastering my life
I keep on seeing babies and young kids in the street. I find it very cute that they are in their own world. I also realize we have a lot in common, as I am too a dreamer!
Myself is Multiple
My emotions are overwhelming at times. When it happens, I share them with people I trust. Speaking does help me take a step back, and lower the pressure I put on myself.
AFTER the Puzzle
The Universal Rule that governs my life
I keep seeing proof that nothing can be taken for granted! For instance, even beautiful Hollywood stars are cheated upon!
My Ego
My Ego is torturing me! It keeps on telling myself I am not good enough to have children, and I should just move on with my life. Because if I was meant to be a Mum I would not have to do treatments!
Living in the present
I want to live in this future where I have a baby: today is not good enough! I prefer to avoid reality, and try to avoid think of the scenario where the treatment does not work.
Mastering my Life
I feel helpless: I am doing everything I can and I am still not pregnant. Plus the more time goes by, the more I am lost. I feel like I have 0 control on my future! All I can do is wait, and that drives me nuts!
Myself is Multiple
I pretend I am well, otherwise I start crying and this is very embarrassing for everyone!
My Compass
My life and I are a mess: the only belief I have right now is that I can have no certainty! One day you have it all, and the next day it is gone!
The Protection in my head
I am not able to protect myself: I am overwhelmed by contradictory emotions. I keep going because I can't give up my dream to be a Mum, but truth is I am drained.
The Pollution in My Head
I am the reason why we do not have a baby yet. There must be something terribly wrong with me not to be "allowed" to be a Mum. I need to try harder to be a good person.
The ADVANCED Puzzle
BEFORE the Puzzle
The Universal Rule that governs my life
I found out lately about so many people that reinvented themselves! They encountered major difficulties, but they overcame them. They are now different, stronger and happier.
My Ego
I had a talk with my Ego. Blaming myself and adding pressure is not helpful. What I need is support. I need it to be in it with me: I will be a lot stronger that way!
Living in the present
As much as I can, I try to stop my train of thoughts to focus on what happens around me. I prefer to live here and now, rather than deal with all the scenarios my head imagines.
Mastering my Life
I have decided to have faith in myself: as I now understand I add quite some mental pressure on myself. I also came to realize that life continues side to the treatments: there is a lot I can enjoy my days with. Plus doing more activities I like, will be a nice distraction from the treatments!
Myself is Multiple
I no longer pretend I am well: the ones who love me do know I am not, and there are here for me. It feels good to be hugged when I am not well!
My Compass
I am not sure what direction my life is taking, but what I do know is this: it is changing me - for the best!
The Protection in my head
I have decided to be easier with me. I still have doubts and peaks of stress - but I too focus on the good moments. They help me recharge my batteries!
The Pollution in my Head
When I catch myself thinking I am not good enough, I pause and I course correct. Having no child does not make me deserve less in life!
AFTER the Puzzle
The Universal rule that governs my life
I see people arguing all the time, in the street or at work. I see children crying and parents being angry. The world is a very stressful place.
My Filter
The voice of my Ego is very strong and determined to make me stop when I am not well. Plus my body is not doing great with the treatments. All concurs for my Filter to follow my Ego - and I don't feel strong enough to stop this process.
Connecting to myself
I am extremely stressed. I think about being pregnant all the time! This is obsessing me, and on top, my body too is tense.
Mastering my Life
I am in control of nothing. Even my calendar I do not master, as I am told the day before to run to the hospital! It feels like someone with a sick mind is playing with me and my life, endlessly. It is mental torture to feel so powerless with my own existence.
Myself is Multiple
I feel there are 2 opposite persons inside my head, and that argue all the time what my future will be.
I would give everything for these voices to shut up and have some peace!
My Compass
I keep asking myself what I did wrong to deserve living this! I liked my life: all what I asked for was a little time for myself before having a child! Now it is biting me back! This is so unfair!!
The Protection in my head
I do not feel strong enough to protect myself. Every negative comment hits me: I feel very vulnerable, at the mercy of my luck (or lack of luck!).
The Pollution in my head
I have convinced myself that I will only be happy if I have a child - and if not then my whole life, and myself, will be a failure. I know this is quite extreme yet I cannot revert this logic.
My Ego
My Ego does not leave me alone! It urges me to stop the treatments, and this self-pressure makes me really sad. While I am not ready to forget about my dream, at times it also sounds reasonable to give up.
Living in the present
It is really hard not to know. I cannot help making one scenario after the other what my life could be. It is exhausting and prevents me from enjoying the present, as my head is most of the time elsewhere.
The FULL Puzzle
BEFORE the Puzzle
CONGRATULATIONS!
MYSELF
EGO
PRESENT
CONNECT
FILTER
COMPASS
PROTECTION
POLLUTION
RULES
MASTER
YOU HAVE JUST COMPLETED INSPIRING YOURSELF WITH THOUGHTS AROUND LIVING WELL WITH FERTILITY TREATMENTS
NEXT STEPS?!
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Go through People’s stories to find out how others have leverage the Puzzle to solve their challenge
Want to introduce the Puzzle into your life?
Apply the Puzzle tips yourself, or leverage the Practice Book for guided steps
The Universal rule that governs my life
I have noticed that each time someone argues, or a child cries - there is a person to help! And I too have support in my life! I am not alone.
My Filter
I have partnered with my Ego, and together we will address my Cold Cases. I cannot continue living this way: there is too much I expect happens with being a Mum. I will free myself from this unbearable mental pressure!
Connecting to myself
I take good care of myself: good food, catching up on sleep, going to massages, hairdresser, sport - anything to relax! Feeling well in my body helps sustain my moral, and the treatments side effects.
Mastering my Life
I do not want to be dependent on a child to be happy - as this would be placing an unfair request on his or her little shoulders. I have therefore decided to be happy on my own!
Myself is Multiple
There are 2 persons in my head, and they do not always agree! I let them be, as both can be right: future will tell!
My Compass
I cannot change what is, but I can do my best. I have faith in myself: I will close this chapter stronger, child or no child!
The Protection in my head
I protect myself avoiding put too much stress on myself. I don't completely control my mind, but at least I take actions to stop negative thoughts.
The Pollution in my head
Each time I am elaborating in my head a scenario that does not suit me, I stop myself and I look around. I make sure I am fully aware it does not exist but in my head!
My Ego
I explain (to myself) that yes I will be hurt if the treatments don't work - but nothing I will not be able to overcome. Plus we are not there yet: right now it is still about having a baby. If not, I will deal with when the time is right.
Living in the present
It is really hard not to know. Yet I have to live with it, as I just don’t know whether I will have a baby. I have decided to let go and be grateful for what I know -meaning all what is happening today!