The Puzzle piece LIVING IN THE PRESENT
Practice book
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Pick one Puzzle piece
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The puzzle tips
Practice book
INTRODUCTION TO THE PUZZLE PRACTICE BOOK
The practice book is available to keep track of my thoughts, and support me step by step through my transformation to live well.
I will find here all the Puzzle tips, together with some help on how to apply these tips, and measure progress.
I can either print it and write on it, or use a side booklet of my own to take notes.
3 key advises to live well are:
Start small, and build up from there.
Experiment in place and/or with people I am comfortable with, then expand.
The more I practise, the more comfortable I am, and the easier it gets!
Have fun anchoring these new habits!
Live well.
SETTING THE SCENE TO LIVE WELL
How do you feel starting this practice book? On a scale 0 to 10.
How do you want to feel after applying the Puzzle in your life? On a scale 0 to 10.
Close my eyes and imagine being there.
Capture here with my own key words what it feels like - with some thoughts, feelings and sensations how it will be:
Do I take the commitment to myself to keep going until I am there?
And when do I want to start?
I have chosen to focus on the tips of the Puzzle piece:
LIVING IN THE PRESENT
Capture why I have chosen to transform the role "Living in the present" plays
On a scale from 1 to 10, capture my perception how dysfunctional the Puzzle piece "Living in the present" is today
On a scale from 1 to 10, write down what success will look like after I have successfully practiced the tip for 7 days in-a-row
Last, capture what I have achieved after these 7 days
Today
Goal
Result
SETTING UP EXPECTATIONS
TO SPOT WHEN A SITUATION & HOW I LIVE IT ARE DIFFERENT
What this tip is about:
How to practice this tip?
To assess whether I am doing this to myself, I need to check if what I am living inside does (or not!) match what is happening around me.
Check whether the storm is solely inside me, or also around me.
Typically, if a situation requires everyone to panic, then everyone would panic - and not just me! Or, similarly, everyone would be angry - not just me!
While reality is that I am in panic or angry, what is happening around me is not meant to trigger such a reaction. It seems real.... but it is solely happening in my own head, as I project my thoughts into what I live.
To catch whether I am anchored in reality or in my head, I need to look around me and see whether people react the same way I do. Is what I think a fact, or an opinion I have?
For instance, has the person said something, or do I think they meant something?
If I am not 100% sure, then it is better to ask as it may well be happening in my head only!
1. When I believe something odd or annoying is happening, look around and observe other people’s reactions: are they all in the same mindset (in which case it is really happening)?
Or do they seem to live the situation differently (in which case it could be in my head only)?
At the end of each day, count how many times I have observed that people and I had different reactions:
Day 1
Day 2
Day 3
Day 4
Day 5
Day 6
Day 7
2. Describe the one moment that was my biggest acknowledgement during the week. My “ha ha!” moment of the week, where I saw how disconnected I was from the other people around me.
Remember there is no right or wrong in these reactions: what matters here is to realise that my thoughts can at times trigger odd reactions - while I believed the situation required it, but it did not.
In particular, did I live during these 7 days one moment where someone made me particularly angry - while no one else in the room was mad at this person?
And if so, take a step back:
Do I think that this person had the intent to make me angry and acted accordingly?
Or did I make myself angry, because I interpreted what he/she did in a certain way? Said otherwise, did I plug any of my thoughts into what the person did or said - or was it real?
3. On a scale from 1 to 10, how much of an effort was it to be present on Day 1 of my 7 days-in-a-row experiment?
And on Day 7?
4. On a scale from 0 to 100, how much does being present simplify my life?
If not, what’s missing to make it work for me?
If it feels right, renew the experience for another 7 days-in-a-row, adding my personal touch to it. Then see whether it changes the outcome of this survey.
Table of content
To spot when a situation and how I live it are different
How to know for sure when I am present
How to reinforce being present
Reflecting back on this experience:
What worked well?
What will you change with the next Puzzle piece?
Be kind to yourself!
Habits come and go: what matters is to be directionally correct.
It is OK to come back to a Puzzle piece you have already tackled, or to take more time to anchor a habit.
Do as it suits you best.
HOW TO REINFORCE BEING PRESENT
What this tip is about:
How to practice this tip?
Being present means feeling a deep sense of connection with the present moment. It is like expanding from within our body and only being here and now - without any past of any future. It is a strong resource we gift ourselves to fuel our days.
It is about feeling the moment more than thinking about the moment, and therefore we are more in our body and in our emotions than in our brains.
When it comes to emotions, it is about letting them float - as they no longer are attached to any thoughts or worry or history - and therefore they can flow through us more easily as there is no fear attached.
Being present induces that we are not in our head. Thoughts do come and distract us (and less and less as we practice) and that is OK. When we realise it, we come back to being present.
Interestingly, as ye stay away from thoughts, being present brings up sensations such as being full, being fulfilled, being in peace, and even happiness.
Open up and dive into these feelings and let them fuel your days and nights, as they stay at the back of our mind and have a coming effect on other emotions that may emerge throughout the day.
As a start, decide what suits you best to practice being present:
In silence
Listening to calm music
With some guided meditations
If you go with 3, I personnally find that 2 persons are the best about sharing their knowledge on being present: Edgard Tolle and Mooji.
And they have posted lost of incredible material on YouTube, so you can have access to excellent conferences and guided meditations from them without having to pay extra.
In terms of practice, I would recommend to decide at which time of the day you want to practice being present e.g. morning or evening. You do not need to pick a precise time, but you do want to decide when in you day it happens. For instance, decide this is the last thing you do before you go to sleep. Or this is what you when you wake up, or before you start working.
Put it in you calendar and block the slot to do it for 7 days in a row.
When it comes to time, there again you choose. Do no less than 5 minutes a day to start with - and once you have started, you can adjust the duration to what you can and want to carve out time for. I can also be a little in the morning and a little in the evening if your calendar is pack - but again: no less than 5 minutes per session.
The sessions usually go as follows:
be comfortable
tell yourself to be empty of any thoughts. Make room for the present moment by removing thoughts.
if it helps, think and feel going beyond yourself, or think and feel about going deeper inside your body. One will resonnate more than the other when you try it.
Open up and let yourself be surprised being fill in with feelings we do not experience much during the day. It could feel like warm and strong. It could feel like we are more than we think.
often our mind kicks in, wondering what this is, thinking about what we need to do, worrying.... Each time you surprise yourself doing it, go back to being present.
As these feelings are new, they can also be surprising and worry you. If it happens, ask yourself whether these are nice feelings: if so, then there is no reason to keep them away.
Day after day, witness that you are getting better and better at it. Your mind will still kick in, but you will notice it faster and therefore grant yourself more time to be present
If some difficult emotions come up, try to let them be. Stay away from thoughts judging this feeling such as "don't feel sad else it will invade you too much", or "blaming myself is bad". Just be with the emotion and observe how it evolves, without any thought associated to it.
Practice consistently for 7 days in a row - and start over if you miss one day.
This is the minimum time our brain needs to want a good habbit to remain.
More challenges?
Come back to the Puzzle as you see fit
Seeking for inspiration?
Go through Thoughts and People’s stories to find out how others have leverage the Puzzle to solve their challenge
WHAT NEXT?!
HOW TO KNOW FOR SURE WHEN I AM PRESENT
What this tip is about:
How to practice this tip?
When I am present I am neither in the past or in the future - as both result in losing contact with reality, plus most likely I then end up dialoguing with myself!
When I am present, my Ego is not in charge, but in supporting mode.
I am living what is happening here and now without projecting my thoughts into what is going on. I am not regretting what could have been. I am not anticipating what could be. I am not judging. I am just living the moment.
To be present, I accordingly
(1) put all my focus on what is going on around me. All the intellectual activity is to understand what is happening around me - not to interpret what is happening around me.
And (2) check how I feel throughout the conversation. This is no inner conversation: it is about connecting with my feelings, and making sure my reactions match with my emotions.
1. For 7 days in-a-row, capture what my days look like as follows:
% of time spent thinking about the past
% of time being present
% of time spent thinking about the future
2. Select 1 hour each day, and write down in percentage how much time I was present 60 minutes. Do the same every day for 7 days: see what the trend is, and how it feels.
% of presence during the 60 minutes test
To capture each day at the end of the 1 hour test, from Day 1 to Day 7.
The objective is not to be present for the full 60 minutes, but to be present as much as I can - and to see that I can do more and more as time goes by.
3. Connect with my body, and without thinking answer the following question:
% how comfortable was it to be present?
To capture each day at the end of the 60 minutes test, from Day 1 to Day 7.
4. When I notice that I am no longer present, what is getting in the way?
What are my top 3 deflector programs that make me lose track with reality, and go back to my own head? What distracts me from remaining present?
#1 deflector program that makes me go back in my head:
#2 deflector program that makes me go back in my head:
#3 deflector program that makes me go back in my head:
5. What can I do to prevent it from happening and stay present?
Look at my calendar for these 7 days and see whether I have time to be alone - and where I therefore can be in my own thoughts (versus being around people, where I would rather be present and focused)?
If I have no “thinking time”, then it is very likely that I will do so in the presence of other people - and therefore not fully pay attention to what is going on around me.
Yes I have enough thinking time: ……………….. hour(s)/day
I have some thinking time but it does not feel enough: ……………….. hour(s)/day
How much time per day would be enough?
Write down the date by when I can make it happen:
I don’t have enough thinking time, therefore I have to think when I am around people.
Is this satisfying? Yes No
If yes, then stop working on being present and choose another Puzzle tip.
If not, how much time per day would be a good start? ……………….. hour(s)/day
Write down the date by when I can make it happen:
CONGRATULATIONS!
MYSELF
EGO
PRESENT
CONNECT
FILTER
COMPASS
PROTECTION
POLLUTION
RULES
MASTER
YOU ARE MASTERING THE TIPS RELATING TO THE PUZZLE PIECE "LIVING IN THE PRESENT"!
WELL DONE!!