Cope with the mental pressure of a breast cancer - People's stories
#3. I have no time to be sick
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Introduction - People's stories
All People's stories are written in the 1st person to reinforce their impact.
While anonymity is preserved, all stories are inspired by real facts.
People's stories are examples, to feed you with concrete cases of how Thee Puzzle has been used. They are not to tell you what to think, or absolute truth: they were created with the intent to illustrate how you can transform your life with Thee Puzzle.
Each People’s story is presented in the following way:
Part 1. The authentic life experience
Part 2. What that same moment could have been, leveraging Thee Puzzle
Part 3. Decoding the story through the lens of The Puzzle framework
Part 1. I have no time to be sick
I usually do not go to my generalist. I have no time, plus I feel healthy—so what is the point?!
But as I was getting older, everyone was on my back to do a check-up. "For prevention," as they said. "What do you risk?!"
So as I got tired of all these comments, and I did go. Got a blood test. Was called back to make a second appointment as something did not look right... But I have full days, so I did not really pay attention!
The doctor's secretary called back insisting—but that is her job, right?! There again, I had better things to do.
So the doctor called, and this time he did not leave me off the hook: I had to come back and do follow-up exams. And so I did, in between calls, meetings, and family logistics.
When I found out I had breast cancer, I was shocked! I did not see it coming at all!
Certainly, I felt a bit more tired, but who would not be with the full life that I have?! I just thought I was aging, but it did not come to my mind that I could be sick.
I just do not know how I am going to handle it.
I am used to dealing with issues and solving them, so fine—I will go through treatment and be well again.
But what bothers me is: where will this cancer fit into my agenda??
I have a full-time job.
I have kids who count on me to drive them around and be there for them as they still need me... even though they say otherwise (...teenagers...!!).
A house to take care of.
A garden.
A husband.
Some time for me and my good friends.
A bit of sports.
I just do not have time to be sick, let alone make room for treatments! My days are full. People count on me. What will they say if I let them down?!
I worked hard to have this life: there is no coming back. Once you start dropping things, people find other alternatives—and in a blink, you are replaced!
Same for my kids: if I am no longer there for them, will we grow apart?
Thinking of all the time it would cost me, and all the changes this cancer would bring, I started to feel the stress rising. I would simply become invisible. Though I might survive this disease, the world would move on without me, and I would be left behind. All alone.
Not to mention that no one wants to be around a sick person. Another good reason to move on without me!!
Life felt like a long way down from this point.
All I could do was look at my doctor while I kept on saying, "I do not have time for this."
He was kind to me, but also quite firm. There was no other way. I had to make time.
And that stressed me even more: it felt like I had another demanding boss entering my life—but still up to me to tell all the other bosses that a new king had entered in town, with all the pushback and pressure this would entail.
How would I be able to cope?
Everyone was about to reject me, and I would lose everything I had built.
It did seriously cross my mind to bury it, tell no one, and keep living as is, as long as I could.
I guess my doctor could feel it because he very kindly but firmly shared what would happen if I did not take care of my cancer.
It felt like choosing between the plague or the cholera...
I accepted to take the treatment, but I have no clue how I will manage to make room.
I am torn and have no good solution. What will I become?!
CONGRATULATIONS
MYSELF
EGO
PRESENT
CONNECT
FILTER
COMPASS
PROTECTION
POLLUTION
RULES
MASTER
You have gained perspective how others have overcome their challenge leveraging Thee Puzzle!
May it inspire you.
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Part 2. I will make room to take good care of myself
I usually do not go to my generalist.
I have no time—and honestly, I feel fine. So what is the point?
But everyone had been on my back: “Go for a check-up, it is just prevention,” they said.
So I gave in. I booked the blood test, squeezed it into my calendar, then moved on.
When they called me back, I barely paid attention.
I had meetings. A packed day. My head elsewhere.
It took my doctor calling me directly—and not letting go—for me to finally go back.
That is when I found out: breast cancer.
I was shocked.
Being sick had never crossed my mind, let alone fitting it into my agenda!
My instinct kicked in quickly: *Deal with it. Fix it. Move on.*
That is what I do—I handle things.
So I told myself: fine, I will do the treatments and then get back to my life.
And that triggered panic: where was this cancer going to fit in my agenda?
I have a full-time job. I drive the kids. I manage the house. The garden. A husband. Friends. A bit of sport when I can.
There is not a single hour left.
This disease was asking for space I did not have.
All I could think was: *What will they say if I let them down?*
I had worked hard to build this life.
And the more I imagined it, the more I felt the ground slipping.
I pictured myself surviving the illness… but losing everything else.
Becoming invisible.
Left behind.
Alone.
The idea haunted me.
So when the doctor told me firmly that there was no other way, that I *had* to make room, I just sat there repeating: “I do not have time for this.”
Over and over.
He looked at me with kindness—but also with certainty.
This was not a negotiation.
This was not a meeting I could postpone.
It was not an optional checkbox.
It was a matter of staying alive.
That moment stayed with me.
I realized I was talking about my life as if it belonged to everyone else.
And that is when something shifted.
For so long, I had believed that being useful made me valuable.
That being available made me lovable.
That being lovable made me irreplaceable.
But none of that helps if I am not here.
None of that stands if I collapse in silence.
For the first time in a long time, I had to put myself first.
And that took a lot of courage for me to do it. I was so used to making room for others that I forgot to set limits. While I feared becoming invisible with this disease, it hit me that I had made myself invisible already.
Helping everyone—at home or at work—made me feel important. But I was always squeezing in what people needed before my own needs. And I was about to learn to do the opposite... which frankly felt like a very scary thing to do!! It felt like I was turning my life upside down!
So I took a deep breath and told my family as soon as I got home, so I would not have to think too much about it! I really felt little and very exposed as I looked at them, wondering whether that was the time when they would walk away from me.
As you can imagine, quite the opposite happened. We cried together—probably me the most—as they showed me how much they loved me. It touched me deeply inside and also made me realize how insecure I was. I looked strong and in charge on the outside, but inside I always felt I had to be worth people’s love or attention—and that is why I worked so hard.
In that moment, they showed me that I also deserved their love. I did not have to earn it, I just had it. Experiencing it was an eye opener.
At work too, they surprised me. People were kind. And there again I cried...
So many of them showed me warmth. Understanding. Patience.
Not from everyone, of course. Some people did pull away. But for once, I did not beg them to stay. This time, I stepped up for myself and let people choose to stay in my life or leave—thinking the right ones will stay. And they did.
The pollution was in my head - nothing happened in real life.
I had imagined rejection and it terrified me - while most I got was support.
When I look back, I realize how much courage it took me to speak about my disease and make room for it. And how much this courage was not necessary toward others, but toward myself. I had been my worst enemy imagining how dark my future would be. Most people deeply surprised me positively with their behavior.
And that gave me lots of strength.
I started making space for my treatment. My family and work helped.
I am learning to slow down and enjoy the moment. I do miss my crazy life and will most likely go back to it, but I have also learned to make pauses - and that will remain with me.
And I am also learning to say no. To protect myself, I carefully choose what makes it to my agenda, instead of just filling up my days because you asked!
This diagnosis is not convenient.
But for the first time, it led me to wonder "What about me?!"
And that question in itself makes the whole process worth it. It changed me forever—into a better person.
Part 3 - Thee Puzzle decoder
Let's decode this People's story with the lens of Thee Puzzle pieces.
MYSELF
EGO
PRESENT
The diagnosis created a rupture in how I related to time, worth, and responsibility. I initially responded the way I knew best:, and assumed was the right and only way. I am the one who handles things, keeps everything running, and does not make space for personal needs. That part of me was loud and created lots of fear and resistance to any change.
That way of thinking shaped how I lived for years. It had helped me survive, organize, perform. But in this moment, I had reached the limits of my own behavior. I had to open up for other parts of myself to cope with the disease.
The turning point came when I saw I was speaking about my life as if it did not belong to me. That awareness opened a door: I could choose to let other parts of me speak. The part who was tired. The part who longed for softness. The part who wanted to be visible again - not just to others, but to myself too.
Realizing too that what I was living was quite the opposite to all what I thought I would live - helped a lot. By far, people did not react the way I imagined - and that helped me a lot to overcome my fear and move past beyond it.
CONNECT
FILTER
I had been living in response mode for so long that everything felt urgent and a top priority. Cancer was another demanding voice on top of all the others. The fear of letting people down blurred everything—I could not see clearly what would come first. And I certainly had cut my body off, not paying attention to being more and more tired.
My inner filter had been polluted over these years, and I was not making the right decisions for myself. It was also eye opening that I had prioritized all the others over myself: I had not come to my mind before this episode.
I had been preparing for full rejection that never came. It was all in my mind. By letting people in, I saw their capacity to support and love me - and I learned to receive it. While I had no other choice but to seek for help, that was not weakness either. I also deserve the consideration I give to others. And that thought gives me great comfort.
COMPASS
PROTECTION
POLLUTION
One of the most painful beliefs I uncovered was this: If I stop being useful, I will be forgotten. That was a big pollution for me. Without me being even conscious about it, this belief had driven me for years. It had shaped how I showed up at home, at work, with friends. It made me feel valuable, but only when I was doing something for others.
It took a real pause—and a real threat to my health—for me to question it. And when I did, I realized how much it had cost me. I had made myself invisible already. I had trained myself to put everything and everyone else first. Seeing that was hard - and also freeing.
I began using my inner compass and checking on my own emotions - while I used to live only in my brain. I now ask myself what matters most right now? What strengthens me rather than drains me? Who do I feel safe around? And with those answers, I started to draw new boundaries—not out of anger, but out of protection. The people who pulled away, I let them. The ones who stayed, I welcomed even more fully. And I stayed, too. For myself, forever!
RULES
MASTER
The unconscious rule I had lived by was simple: Make yourself indispensable to stay loved. This diagnosis broke that rule. I had to stop. And in that stop, I discovered a truth I had never made room for: I am loved even when I do not earn it!
And I will continue seek for that new truth, as it is a much better place to live in!
Now I am able to master my life and welcome what suits me, while saying no to the rest. You don't get to be in my day because you asked: I decide if I let you in. And interestingly, I am much more efficient and effective that way!