Cope with the mental pressure of a breast cancer - People's stories
#1. I am a cancer
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Introduction - People's stories
All People's stories are written in the 1st person to reinforce their impact.
While anonymity is preserved, all stories are inspired by real facts.
People's stories are examples, to feed you with concrete cases of how Thee Puzzle has been used. They are not to tell you what to think, or absolute truth: they were created with the intent to illustrate how you can transform your life with Thee Puzzle.
Each People’s story is presented in the following way:
Part 1. The authentic life experience
Part 2. What that same moment could have been, leveraging Thee Puzzle
Part 3. Decoding the story through the lens of The Puzzle framework
Part 1. I am breast cancer and no longer a women
When I was told I had breast cancer, it felt like my world had collapsed.
I did not think too much about dying. Instead, what terrified me was that I was no longer a woman.
What used to make me sexy, what my partner liked: that was now a disease.
My skin, my hair: they were going to be damaged by the treatments.
This disease was killing who I am: I was no longer allowed to be feminine. Everything that makes a woman a woman – was gone.
So who was I going to be, if I could no longer be feminine?
How would my partner look at me?
How would any man even ever lay his eyes on me with envy?
I liked feeling like a woman. Feeling desired. I know I aged and I do not look as good as when I was young, but still!!
Who would desire me now?! All that people will feel toward me will be pity. And I do not want pity!!
I know I am much more than just a sexy woman – but that is not a part I am willing or ready to let go of!! I did not choose this life. I do not want this life! This is just not me.
All these thoughts were going in circles in my head, and all I could do was cry. I felt so sad. It felt like I was burying who I used to be, not knowing who I was anymore.
I know I have kids, friends, family to fight for – but none of it mattered. All I could see was that my femininity was being taken away from me. And without it, it was as if I were an amputee. A big part of myself had been taken away from me.
I was crying so much, and it felt like I would never be able to stop: the more the news made its way to my brain, the less I could breathe and the sadder I became. It really was a little death for me. Like waiving goodbye to a part of me I really liked.
I felt so completely lost.
Being a woman was just being me: so natural, so much a part of who I...was.
I could not picture myself without it. Who was I going to be now?! That idea of reinventing myself without femininity terrified me. It shocked me to realize that I was not sure I would like me that way.
I do not think I would like this future me! That thought hit me right in the heart and broke it. The idea of no longer liking myself made me feel so lonely, and even more sad – while I thought I had already hit rock bottom!
I was so exhausted from all this crying that I fell asleep.
And when I woke up the next morning, all this reality hit me again – and I did not feel any better.
Absurdly, in all this, the disease and getting through it is not my biggest worry.
Right now I just feel lost, and incapable of comforting myself... because I am no longer myself, only a part of me is left. And I do not know if the part of me which is left is worth fighting for. I will hang to keep fighting for others, for those who love me: I will get my strength from them. Because I am not sure I am any longer worth it.
CONGRATULATIONS
MYSELF
EGO
PRESENT
CONNECT
FILTER
COMPASS
PROTECTION
POLLUTION
RULES
MASTER
You have gained perspective how others have overcome their challenge leveraging Thee Puzzle!
May it inspire you.
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Part 2. I am and remain a women, no matter breast cancer!
When I was told I had breast cancer, something in me collapsed. Not physically—I was standing, breathing—but I was no longer whole. I did not panic about dying. What terrified me was that I might have to keep living… but no longer be a woman.
That thought came instantly, uninvited, sharp.
Everything I had tied to being feminine—my breasts, my hair, the glow in my skin—was about to go away.
What had made me feel beautiful, what had made me feel desired, was being stripped from me.
Suddenly, I realized I was not fighting a disease. I was fighting the disappearance of myself.
And I did not know how to win that one.
Who was I going to be if I was no longer… attractive?
Would my partner still want me?
Would I ever walk into a room and feel seen—not with pity, but with longing?
The grief was so physical. I cried until my throat burned and my chest ached.
It felt like I was burying someone. Not a relative. Me.
I had not realized how much I had built my identity around being a woman until I felt like I had lost the permission to be one.
I was in so much panic I was not breathing well. I realized I had to first physically come myself down before I could think any further. I lied down and closed my eyes while still crying. I forced myself to count to 3 and inhale, count to 3 and exhale. At first, I even had to count to 2 because I could not fill my lungs up to 3! My heart was beating like I had been sprinting! But little by little, and focusing on counting and counting only, I was able to catch my breath.
And as I did, I imagined that the air I was breathing out was creating a bubble around me. A thick protecting bubble. I bubble as large as the length of my 2 arms up. A bubble where I had space. A bubble where everything was quiet and peaceful. A bubble without bad news... With this idea, I started stressing again, and so I started all over once more.
Counting to catch my breath.
Creating a safe place breathing out.
When I felt a little calmer, I asked myself: what do I need right now, and that I can give to myself?
"Love" was the answer shouted in my head!
And that made me cry again big times. Not out of sadness, but to realize that I still could give myself love! That I still had plenty of love for me. That sickness made no difference: I was still here for myself. And my love for myself had not diminished, which by no mean it did! That was such a huge release for me to acknowledge so. I had love for myself, no matter what. And I would always have lots of love in reserve for myself, each time I would be in need of it.
I was not alone. My head might tell my so, but my heart was not broken. I was here for myself - and I would be fine. No matter the future, I would be fine.
Although I felt calmer, my anxiety of no longer being a women or wanted was still there.
Even though I told myself I was more than my body, I was far from ready to let that part go.
But then it hit me: is it true that people with breast cancer are no longer feminine?
It was cheesy but the image of Angelina Jolie came to my mind. Her sharing her story made total sense to me now, and I could measure the courage it took her to do so being a public figure. She still looked very sexy to me! I obviously don't know her and don't know how she is living it for real, but she definitely kept a feminine part.
And so it got me to wonder: is that true that I have to burry my femineity with this disease?
No - I was not willing to give it up.
Good, I though to myself. Then the limit is set: I will not. And that thought made me smile....
So, what is the opposite thought I wondered. And it took me a bit to find it, but I did.
"I will amplify my femineity with this disease". I will take even greater care of myself. I will pay even more attention to looking and being feminine. I will amplify the feminine behavior in me - being kind and caring as a start.
This disease is making me realize that I am a woman: what I used to take for granted, I will now feed and nurture. I know I am more than a body, but my body is the one that needs attention right now. It does not make me less intelligent: it makes me whole to ensure I remain strong and beautiful in my eyes.
I am not saying I am there yet. I am not.
But I am beginning to separate what is essential from what is external.
I am learning to filter polluting myself from what I know to be true deep inside.
This is not the version of womanhood I had imagined for myself.
But it is still womanhood. And it is still mine to define.
I will also lean on those who love me.
But now I know: I am still worthy.
Not because someone else desires me, but in my own eyes.
Part 3 - Thee Puzzle decoder
Let's decode this People's story with the lens of Thee Puzzle pieces.
MYSELF
EGO
PRESENT
The shock of the diagnosis hit the idea I had of myself. In that moment, I could only access one version of who I was: the woman who felt stripped of everything that once made her feel alive, beautiful, wanted. That version of me, my Ego spoke in absolutes: “You are no longer a woman.” “No one will ever desire you again.” It felt definitive. But I got to realize that I am much more than this disease, plus it can't take away parts of me - unless I allow for it. These devastating thoughts were only one voice in me. One version of the truth I could change.
In the moment, I could not access other parts of myself—my strength, my perspective, my resilience—until I acknowledged that I was letting my Ego in charge. Feeling teared apart was real. But naming it helped me create a little space. I did not try to silence the grief: instead, I gave it room. And by doing so, I allowed other voices to emerge: the one who breathes, the one who questions, the one who still loves herself.
CONNECT
FILTER
The emotional spiral had no filter. Pity, shame, panic—everything was flooding in without pause, and with a lot of intensity. My nervous system was hijacked.
That is when I instinctively turned to breath—not because it was magical, but because it was physical. Though my body was the problem, reconnecting with it and being away from my brain felt like the right thing to do. Counting to two, then three, was not just about calming down. It was my first act of reconnection. A way to return to my body, and to myself.
Visualizing a protective bubble gave me boundaries when my reality felt too exposed. It was a filter—one I created consciously—to keep panic out and presence in. And that space allowed me to think more clearly, as I intentionally allowed other thoughts to reach me. It allowed me to choose not to let go the feminine part of me - and that was both a big decision and a big release.
COMPASS
PROTECTION
POLLUTION
The pollution showed up in a quiet but cruel belief: that womanhood lives in body parts, and that without them, I am nothing. I realized that this belief was inherited—not consciously chosen. It had no flexibility, no room for evolution. Recognizing it as pollution was a turning point for me. I was doing this to myself, and accordingly I have the power to stop it. I was devastating myself with this pollution in my head.
That was when I tested my compass. I asked, “Is it true that having breast cancer makes me less feminine?” that my mind started to open up. Looking around, I could see at least one example of the opposite. Of another woman who stood up for her femineity, and for all of us. And that did resonated with me.
This is when I decided to protect myself. I drew a boundary with my own mind. Just no. I will not bury my femininity with this disease. That was self-protection, not denial. And choosing to amplify my femininity, instead of letting it disappear, became a new way to honor the woman I am and I will remain to be.
RULES
MASTER
This experience led me to realize that I had a bias deeply rooted: “I am only worthy if I am desired.” And I have now decided that I will seek for different examples.
That rule had shaped until now how I moved in the world and how I measured my value. But now something else emerged: I am and will always be worthy and feminine —in my own eyes, in addition to the ones of others. And I will look for strong women who are proud of who they are, no matter. I will learn from them, and they will feed me with their strength.
I realize that I can choose my own definition of what womanhood is. This disease is not the path I had imagined, but it is mine. I have the power to decide whether I find myself feminine or not - and that mastering of my life is giving me great comfort.