The Puzzle piece MY EGO
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Explore the Puzzle framework
Witness how others have used the Puzzle and inspire yourself
Pick one Puzzle piece
Apply the tip(s)
Follow up on results
Acknowledge positive impact
The puzzle tips
INTRODUCTION TO THE PUZZLE PRACTICE BOOK
The practice book is available to keep track of my thoughts, and support me step by step through my transformation to live well.
I will find here all the Puzzle tips, together with some help on how to apply these tips, and measure progress.
I can either print it and write on it, or use a side booklet of my own to take notes.
3 key advises to live well are:
Start small, and build up from there.
Experiment in place and/or with people I am comfortable with, then expand.
The more I practise, the more comfortable I am, and the easier it gets!
Have fun anchoring these new habits!
SETTING THE SCENE TO LIVE WELL
How do you feel starting this practice book? On a scale 0 to 100.
How do you want to feel after applying the Puzzle in your life? On a scale 0 to 100.
Close my eyes and imagine being there.
Capture here with my own key words what it feels like - with some thoughts, feelings and sensations how it will be:
When do I want to be there?
And when do I want to start?!
I have chosen to focus on the tips of the Puzzle piece:
Capture why I have chosen to transform the role "my Filter" plays
On a scale from 1 to 10, capture my perception how dysfunctional the Puzzle piece "my Filter" is today
On a scale from 1 to 10, write down what success will look like after I have successfully practiced the tip for 7 days in-a-row
Last, capture what I have achieved after these 7 days
SETTING UP EXPECTATIONS
NEVER IGNORE MY EGO (as it will only make things worse)
What this tip is about:
How to practice this tip?
Dare me to ignore it, my Ego cannot stand it!
It sees catastrophes all around me, and I pretend not to hear its warnings!? What the hell???!!?!
And, indeed, this is when hell breaks loose.
My Ego will do whatever it takes to draw my attention, up to throwing myself in panic, if this is the only way to be heard! It has no limit to make sure I pay attention - as nothing can stand in the way of its mission to protect me.
Accordingly, as my Ego cannot stand being ignored, we have to stick together. I need to pay attention to what it says: there is no other way. I must hear it. And then, I can consciously decide to follow it, or to leverage it. But in all cases, we stick together!
1. Choose one moment (at least!) every day. Capture what is happening: what is my Ego talking to me about? Consciously listen to the little voice in my head, and pay attention to what it has to say.
Is the thought positive or negative? Positive Negative
How does my Ego make me feel?
Do I agree with what it is advising me to do? Yes No
2. Experiment dialoguing with my Ego, as if I would talk to another person.
What happens then?
If I had any peak of stress during this 7 days-in-a-row experiment, or even panic attacks: reflecting back,
On a scale from 1 to 10, how loud was my Ego at that moment?
Was I paying attention to my Ego before the panic/high stress started?
On a scale from 0 to 10, how much did paying more attention to my Ego helped lower stress intensity/panic attacks?
3. Out of my 7 days in-a-row practice of never ignoring my Ego, has anything my Ego warned me about, materialised in real life?
Table of content
Never ignore my Ego (as it will only make things worse)
How to come down my Ego
Partner with my Ego
Reflecting back on this experience:
What worked well?
What will you change with the next Puzzle piece?
Be kind to yourself!
Habits come and go: what matters is to be directionally correct.
It is OK to come back to a Puzzle piece you have already tackled, or to take more time to anchor a habit.
Do as it suits you best.
PARTNER WITH MY EGO
What this tip is about:
How to practice this tip?
The objective to partner with my Ego is to be able to be fully present to a given situation.
Typically when I want to avoid that a little voice in my head talks to myself, and distracts me from reality!
To do so, I need to prepare myself and my Ego.
It starts by telling my Ego that I need it to protect and serve me from losing contact with reality. That I do need it to be on top of its mission to protect me, because it does matter! That issues will arise in (ex) the conversation I am going to have, unless I am able to focus and capture every detail of it.
Otherwise said, ask my Ego to stick to being present!
The more I partner with my Ego, the more I will hear in my head comments about the conversation. Such as: 'I did not think about it', 'this is very interesting', 'I would have never come up with that idea!', etc. These comments (not judgements) are from my Ego: it is enjoying itself, being in it with me! And instead of making up its own scenario about reality and what could be, it is having fun focusing on what is.
Ultimately, I will thank my Ego for the hand. I want my Ego to know this is the kind of help I need. Therefore I need to acknowledge I liked this partnership, and would like more of it!
1. Decide when/where I want to practise partnering with my Ego - starting with a situation or person I am comfortable with
2. Take a few minutes to talk to my Ego before the event.
Explain what we will do together. In particular, be clear about how I expect it to protect me: for instance, observe carefully how the other person is reacting and describe it to me - without judging - so I can best adjust my behaviour. Or stand by me the whole time and fuel me with your courage, so I can have this conversation. etc.
Each time I experiment, observe and capture how it went as follows:
Did my Ego help during the partnership? Yes No
If I initially asked, was my Ego able to protect me? Yes No
On a scale from 0 to 10, how strong do I feel?
And on a scale from 0 to 10, how does the Ego in my head feel?!
3. Do I notice any trends in answering these 4 questions above, as I went through my 7 days in-a-row experiment?
4. Of all the partnerships I initiated with my Ego during these 7 days,
how many were successful in percentage?
Do I see value in continuing partnering with my Ego? Yes No
If not, what’s missing to make it work?
If it feels right, renew the experience for another 7 days in-a-row. Then see whether it changes the outcome of the survey.
Come back to the Puzzle as you see fit
Seeking for inspiration?
Go through Thoughts and People’s stories to find out how others have leverage the Puzzle to solve their challenge
HOW TO COME DOWN MY EGO
What this tip is about:
How to practice this tip?
1. Acknowledge that I am panicking.
Seems obvious but it does take practice, as in the moment the panic obliterates any other thought.
And as I realise that I am panicking, I can too acknowledge this is all happening in my head, not for real. By coming back to reality, I am able to take a step back and lower the panic that I feel.
2. Notice how I breathe. I am most likely holding my breath in the moment, or on the contrary breathing too fast or heavily.
Breathe deeply and slowly, and count at the same time. Breathing does help be present, and counting stops trains of thoughts (as no one can count and think about something else at the same time).
Both breathing and counting will help restart traffic in my brain. To come to realise there is no such overwhelming threat around me, right here and right now.
3. Ask my Ego what it needs (meaning 'I"!).
Ask myself what would feel good right now.
What do I need to come down?
The answer can for instance be to give myself a virtual hug, or to acknowledge that my Ego is part of my life (versus ignoring it), or to take a pause and breathe before I restart.
Trust I have the answer to that question, and rest assured nothing my Ego will ask is beyond what I can give!
1. When I panic, I follow the 3 steps described in the tip:
acknowledge I am panicking
breathe and count
ask myself what I need, and give it to myself
2. Observe and capture my progress:
How many times did my Ego panic Day 1 to Day 3 of my transformation experiment?
On a scale 0 to 100, how intense was the panic on Day 1?
On a scale 0 to 100, how intense was the panic on Day 3?
How many times did my Ego panic Day 4 to Day 6?
On a scale 0 to 100, how intense was the panic on Day 4?
On a scale 0 to 100, how intense was the panic on Day 6?
In comparison to Day 1, draw an arrow indicating how I am able to handle the panic generated by my Ego: better, more of the same, or things are getting worse?
How many times did my Ego panic on Day 7?
On a scale from 0 to 100, how intense was the panic on Day 7?
In comparison to Day 1, draw an arrow indicating to which extent I am able to stop my Ego from panicking faster, more of the same, or things are getting worse?
3. What is the outcome of this 7 days-in-a-row experience:
A. I am able, and at ease, to stop my Ego from panicking
B. I see progress and I will continue apply this tip
C. I see progress, but this is not what I need the most so I will rather leverage another tip to be well
D. This tip does not work for me
YOU ARE MASTERING THE TIPS RELATING TO THE PUZZLE PIECE "MY EGO"!